Called to the Water: My Baptism at Kirkwood United Church of Christ

I delivered this testimony to my new church family at Kirkwood United Church of Christ just before my baptism on Sunday, February 5, 2012 under the care of Rev. Susannah Davis.

Here at Kirkwood, I’ve been blessed to witness the baptisms of two babies. One actually happened the first time I visited this church – which I think was a sign from God that this was some place I should keep coming back to. Because baptisms here at Kirkwood are always so special. It’s not only a moment for us to welcome a little one into the church - acknowledging that unbelievably powerful love that God has for her life and her spirit, a life that we all promise to nurture in the way of Christ, but it’s also a time for us to remember our own baptisms – a time to remember the truth that we were brought into as we were cradled in our pastor’s arms long, long ago. That’s what we are always asked to do here on baptism Sundays – remember something deep in our souls that our newborn memories never captured.

Well my friends, I’m overjoyed to say that today I will be able to join with you at every future baptism Sunday in remembering today, the day that I knelt before you all and before God to acknowledge the truth that I too was brought into as a baby. A truth that has carried me through my life’s greatest joys and greatest depressions. A truth about God’s love for me and my spirit – which is as cleansing and forgiving as the fresh water you all will pour out for me in the moment I publicly affirm and acknowledge the truth of God’s love in my life.

I spoke with a minister friend of mine last night. He had seen on my Facebook that I was getting baptized this Sunday and wanted to talk to me before I took this step. To be honest with you I was a little nervous – I was worried that I would have to defend myself for leaving the tradition I was raised in and going through with something so final and declarative as a baptism. This probably sounds like a bizarre thing to fear a minister questioning you about. But I was raised a pretty devout Unitarian Universalist and so I had never been baptized as a baby. Loved and held in my pastor’s arms – yes. But never baptized. There was never a moment where I or anyone else stood up in a public ceremony and said, “Here is Anna, a child of God. We promise to love her as much as we can. And we acknowledge that no matter how many mistakes she makes, how many times she hurts herself or others, however dirty and ugly the world of which she is unquestionably a part – however dirty that world gets – the spirit of Life and Love that we call God will be there every time to pick her up, dust her off, and make her whole again. And here, here is some clean water that we will clean her brow with today, in the same way we know and trust God will restore her soul each and every day for the rest of her life.” No, that special moment hasn’t happened yet. God was always there for me, but today I get to finally acknowledge that.

Well, my minister friend who called me was so so happy for me. I really had nothing to worry about. And that was truly a blessing. Because if I am going to be really honest with you right now I have to say that leaving the religious home that I have been a part of for more or less my whole life, leaving the comfort of that home, all the songs and stories and institutional knowledge, to leave that behind me to follow a new path – it’s really hard, and it’s really scary. But for me, what we will do today is also necessary and life-giving. I can think of no greater act of faith than to become a part of the body of Christ with you.

Because I have felt the Love of God touch my life. I have felt God’s presence envelop me in powerful and subtle ways. And most of all I have yearned for a tradition and a community that would not only celebrate those moments with me, but also invite me into more of them – challenge me to go deeper in a relationship with God and help me to build a life worth living, brick by brick, with intentionality.

I’m keenly aware that we live in an age when more people claim to be spiritual but not religious – and I’m standing if front of you now to say that yes I have spirit, always have really, but what I crave is religion. Like so many of you I can very easily slip into habits that are selfish and egotistical, and ultimately do not make me a happy person. I’m pretty darn good at wasting my life on things that don’t matter at all. So I need you. I need God and Christ and the Church. Because I believe that together we can root ourselves in this giant oak of Christianity – with all its many branches – we can root ourselves in this ancient faith together so that we may have the strength ourselves to grow. That’s what I believe the Kingdom of God is like. It’s imperfect people like you and me who have rooted themselves in this faith that is greater than all of us, calling us to love and care for each other, demanding that we do not take this world and this life we have for granted. I don’t think we can bring the Kingdom of God alone. I’m certainly not strong enough for that. But I have unwavering faith that as Christ’s body we absolutely can do it together. I need God and I need Christ and I need you all. And once I am a baptized member of your family – I hope you will need me too.

So here I am before you, not a baby but a woman who has already been traveling on this road of life for many years. Like you I have burdens and blessings, heavy loads and thick calluses. But I’m tired of pretending that I have all the answers, that these burdens are mine to carry alone. And I’m ready to acknowledge that God’s love is what has gotten me to this point – and what will lead me forward. And above all I rejoice in today. I rejoice in the life that God has given me and cannot wait to spend the rest of my life remembering this feeling, this sweet surrender, remembering it each time we gather to baptize another beautiful little baby in our congregation.